A Modest Proposal: Out-Source the U.S. Budgetary Process

“Out-source” is probably one of the more remarkably Orwellian euphemisms of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, as well as a welded together preposition-verb that Orwell would have called ugly.

“We out-sourced your job” means “You’re fired because we gave your job to someone overseas whom we can pay a tenth of what we pay you, even though we don’t pay you that much.”  Or something like that.

In any event, in these trouble days when the U.S. Congress couldn’t pass a bill encouraging cats to meow, I believe it is time to out-source the budgetary process.  The U.S. Treasurer, let us say, simply sends out a Request for Proposals to a variety of nations that have legislative/parliamentary governments: Canada, Sweden, Scotland, New Zealand, Ghana, Chile, and so on.  We offer a good price for services–but can’t pay until later, naturally.  “We’re good for it, though,” the Treasurer says, perspiring and trying to smile.

Representatives from these nations send in their proposals: how long they propose to take to pass a budget (probably a matter of hours, days at most), what their cost is, and so on.  The Treasurer picks the top three, flies in the teams, and interviews them.  Then he hires one.

I can imagine the Swedes (just as an example) coming in and asking what the big deal is.  Well, we say, for one thing, about 40 Reps. won’t pass a budget unless health-care that is in the process of being provided to about 30 million people is taken way.  And the Swedes would say, Well, that’s stupid; everybody gets sick [an old Viking saying].  At the end of the second day, I imagine, the Swedes would pass a budget and raise the debt-ceiling (thinking that the latter is preferable to economic chaos–those crazy Swedes and their mad-cap antics!), had over the documents to the President, go to dinner, and take a late flight to Arlanda.

Done and done. Much preferable to the firm of Stupid, Arrogant, and Impractical that is currently pretending to be a Congress.  Interesting word, “congress”–rather the opposite of fragmentation and polarization.


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